mom's dogma

i learned fred died today.

when my parents got him, a mellow yellow lab, i began getting cards from fred my new 'dog brother'. he shared his name with my grandfather. i could never be sure what to make of that considering my parents maintained a bitter relationship with my dad's dad up through his death. to then dote on this pup, fred, became its own bit of comedic family lore.

i love dogs from a distance. that point just beyond where they can jump on, put their wet nose on or otherwise be smelled by, me. i have a thing about having any part of my person, this would include my children, being touched by anyone, this would also include my children, who just touched a dog without washing their hands in the interim. i never grew up with one. we learned visiting my parents after fred's arrival that i am indeed allergic to them. still. even i would pet fred now and then.

the empty nesters' beloved dog did not come out of an exaggeratedly long seizure. at 5 and a half years old, he died in their bedroom, with mom at his side, just before 7 this morning. her first call was to my brother who set off immediately to help her take our dog brother fred for cremation.

my dad died last december. in their bedroom. mom discovered him cold of a heart attack and called my brother just before 7 in the morning. he waited with her and cleaned the mess and called asking if i wanted to see dad before he was cremated.

mom was in good spirits when i spoke with her.

"fred is at peace. he's in heaven right now smelling your dad's butt, i just know it."