Tuesday, March 17, 2009

25 things about me i will not post on facebook: 6 & 7

6. i hate the smell of outside on my family. i won't even hug them when they walk back in the house if they've been playing hard. or as vern may amend "just standing out there for 5 minutes".

a. i only find chicken farms more appalling.

b. slightly less offensive to me are: the tahoe after driving in the rain - it smells like rank fish, and about every farm in the area that produces or otherwise spreads pig manure.

c. pregnant? vern swore i could smell someone pass gas from the car in the next lane driving down the interstate.

and so.

d. i do not mind dirty diapers. for the first 3-4 months, i actually think they smell kinda sweet. for my own children. i have yet to test this scent affection when applied to other babes.

7. if i could marry anyone of my choosing, it would be duff goldman. i simply adore that man. there would naturally be two rules to this engagement: 1. that he be exactly like his tv persona off-camera, and 2. that we would never consummate the union as i continued an affair with vern.

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i have nothing witty to say here, but i think it's fun when other people do.