the cheesiest

jeremy williams and i had an on-going challenge to see who could eat the most macaroni-n-cheese. i remember this as vividly as i do swallowing lima beans whole and that cinnamon did not make warm squash taste better. mom babysat. proper nutrition was saved for supper.

even so.

this never occured to me until just today. i about dropped the spoon i was using to divy up mac-n-cheese for the kids: how many kraft boxes did she mix up to aid in our weekly throw-downs? it's been a savored childhood memory. 8 bowls. one summer day i ate jeremy under the table with 8 bowls, and until an hour ago i had never questioned my record's integrity though jeremy did appeal the last bowl should not qualify as a full portion. i countered that i had beaten him with the 7 th to finish up what was left in the pan. not only could i eat more, i was faster.

where my mom was in all of this, i have no recollection. but at 9 or 10 we were certainly not feeding ourselves. and if not for this battle of the mac with jeremy williams i would not believe my mother to ever have let us eat so much of anything in one sitting. she had to have been staging the repeat helpings for us with 2 or 3 bites to a round. had to.

being a mom now. it casts light onto the shadows surrounding some of my fondest memories. i see a new side of who my mom was back then. i like that part. we'll see when maddy hits her tweens and illuminated is what mom must have been doing when i was one. i don't go overboard for mother's day. but in 10 years? the brain cells might be so bright with understanding that i'll be sending my mother a truck load of roses.