the "so? what do you do?" of it

i heard version #211 of the never-ending banter regarding who has the most demanding 24: the mom who spends part of her work day earning a paycheck from outside the home or the mom who spends her entire time working for her family within free of charge.

to quote my own verbose mother: whatever.

it's such a pointless debate, and i'm thankful to be surrounded by friends who don't. one who felt a sense of relief when her maternity time was up to be among adult chatter again, along with the challenge of her job and the satisfaction in being able to actually finish something there. one who chose leave her career path untended a few years longer when the thought of leaving their daughter in daycare made her physically ill.

what a mom does, and how that affects her and her individual family, is such a personal experience i can never understand why anyone try sit and judge, analyze or compare. it's like expecting everyone wear a size 10 jean regardless their size.

that said.

i am not above laughing when the acquaintance who is focused on letting everyone know her trials and tribulations as the mom who works two full-time jobs. trumping any measley stay-at-homer who has all day to do laundry or dishes and never has to answer to a project manager, navigate office politics or make a hundred cupcakes for daycare...

then acts like she and her husband would lose their sanity if they had to deal with their children for a full three-day weekend and congratulates herself on picking a daycare that will watch the kids that holiday friday or monday and all of spring break. ya know. so she can get something done during her day off at home and have a breather.

because that would be impossible with the kids around.

well yeah. it generally is.

i laugh that my day is so less demanding in comparison to hers and yet she can't do mine for more than two.

the real superhero moms are the ones in uniform far away from their children and civilian lives. the single moms. the terminally-ill moms. the moms who don't have the luxury of choice.