i-o-wa!

i have an old college friend who updated her facebook status as "proud of iowa today". the supreme court took down the ban on gay marriage. i expect hell fire and brimstone will soon be following with a chorus for something like california's prop 8 to be on the table.

should it happen in 2010 or 2012, i would vote to legalize gay marriage,

and the only people i really care to know this are my children.

vern and i do not debate family or friends firmly planted in the opposite corner. we both know nothing would sway their opinions in what we'd have to say anyway. and truly, we respect their opinions. the rest we leave to the Holy Spirit. i guess we're lucky that the issue has remained on the outskirts of our little hub. by lucky, i mean this has afforded us the luxury of remaining relatively quiet without offending anyone. we're not gay. no one in our immediate family is. none of our close friends have ever come out. our kids are still babies. discussions have always been hypothetical and non-personal and while we ask questions, we rarely submit rebuttals. we once listened to loved ones expressing their views on homosexuality as sin and afterwards, when vern carried me into their powder room, whispered, "do you agree?" "nah."

and so was life before children. easy. non-confrontational. we're all too soon realizing that our children's impressions of the world are being formed now, and everyone around here is a lot louder than their parents. unless we're going to make a family affair of taking mom to the bathroom, vern and i need to speak. just so our kids know where we stand, and why.

not to mention the awkward round-table discussion of "what your parents thought about homosexuality" should an angry glare and thrown box of kleenex prove mutually fatal any time soon. it haunts me to think our children might never really know, that our family and friends might never reach a true consensus.

which of course means letting our family and friends hear us - the ones who would strongly disagree and probably shake their heads a time or two. the ones who would be, who is now, a part of the community raising our children.

it'd be easy enough to simply list it out in a facebook note. i mean, that'd get it out there. that's just not me. i did, however, with these thoughts in tow, remark on another dear friend's status updated "disgusted with the iowa supreme court" with "i'm happy we can agree to disagree on this one..." a response from another one of his friends followed:

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

Leviticus 18:22 - "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable."

Leviticus 20:13 - "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."

Romans 1:26-27 - "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion."

and then:

And for the non-christian gay-rights lovers, think about this; If all society bought into the gay love ideal, how long would society last? No offspring would be created (as intended) from the love of two men or two women. Society wouldn't decline, it would cease to exist. How could this scenario possibly work indefinitely? Haven't seen too many bulls screwing bulls or sow pigs mating with other sows in the countryside lately either so the other animals among us must have already figured out there is no fruit to gay love, when will we?

my face flushed and then i kind of giggled. and while i refuse to debate this, especially on my friend's wall, i think i will here. later. for now, i want to share what my dear husband was willing to reply:

I've seen some bull-on-bull action.

and so. we've got a lot of practice and red faces ahead of us. as long as we stay true to ourselves, our own discourse and brand of humor. i think we can find a way to quietly voice ourselves, just loud enough for our children to hear without disrespecting our loved ones. and then. i hope. having heard us, they will branch off and find their own voice.

i really do not have any expectations for what they believe, so long as they first commit themselves to listening.